ENGAGED

I am gonna tell you a love story sweetie.

Prior you there were body and soul.

The first always wondered what was missing, it felt light and senseless

The second asumed all along there was nothing missing, after all, she was always free and strong.

The body found you before anyone else, the body heard your laugh, saw your eyes, felt you touch, listen to your voice and taste your lips ad thenhe knew. He found the only thing that make it stronger, braver, smarter and brighter.

The soul had its barriers...it wandered sometimes your soul. You seemed Ok.. you seemed more than OK.. but it was perfect. She could tolerate being next to you and nevertheless, she would never shared herself with you. She was strong by herself.

There was something missing but, something underneath all. Body and sould kept it well guarded INSIDE. The heart, my heart.

Unreachable, untouchable, body and sould knew that lots of times before heart was destroyed and they wouldn't anything happen to him again. Not like that not this time.

The your heart came, and the love you felt for mine was pure, endless and warm so warm my heart couldn't resist. My body already adore yours...But my soul was indecise. It never happened before.. why this time. why couldn't she fight.

You kidnapped my heart...and kept it with yours.. and never again let it go. That's why sweetheart I can't let you go...because it was my decision, because it is not my power, because I am already yours. Comitted, ENGAGED and in love with you.

So my answer is YES, but you already knew that. You already knew that I was going to marry you right? My heart told in secret... that e was powerful that my stupid body nd my senseless.. that he had the last word in this matter.

My heart told you that the answer was always yes.. Because it always will be. Always YES. For you YES. A love you dear james more than anything in this world, and I wanna be with you forever...even that it will take us forever to find a way of being happy together.

Even if it takes us forever... I will be with you. I promise.

Poniendole colores a mi vida

He elegido el azul, el crema y el dorado. Me parecen colores reales con personalidad, con estilo con presencia.

Ha tenido que pasar muchisimo tiempo para que me arme de valentia y pueda plasmar un poco todo lo que revolotea ccual golondrina en verano en mi cabeza.

Canciones, momentos, fotos, recuerdos, sentimientos me agobian cada vez mas no puedo dividirme mas.

Una persona muy sabia y que recientemente se ha vuelto un muy buen amigo mio..Yuri, me dijo que tengo que llevar conmigo mi mente y mi corazon...Mi cuerpo no debe andar solo nowadays.

La vida es esta, MI vida es esta... Esta aqui en 51 Clifton Newark, I am not leaving...no I ain't.

Un poco de Harlem, un poco de Trujillo un poco de Newark se esta quedando conmigo.

Esta horrible y tenebrosa ciudad tiene algo que me fascina. POSIBILIDADES.

Aqui me siento un poco mas valiente, un poco mas confiada.. me siento un poco mas JULIA que Gabriela.

EL amor de mi familia ha creado en mi un increible sentimiento de PODER... lo adquiero de ellos lo acepto en MI.

Ha pasado tanto, tanto este año.. Tanto que lamentablemente algunas de mis so CALLED best friends no entienden, tantoooo pero nunca suficiente.

Me encanta tus arboles de cerezo new Jersey me encanta tu personalidad amenzante pero intrigante, imperfecta pero exacta. The exactly rough start that I was expecting. I like Newark not because is pretty.. I like Newark because in One Gateway Center ... in front of the Penn Station I am starting to decide on my freakin own for the first what I really WANT and AM GONNA do with my life.

I Know now, I am start...I am unbeatable... I am WHat I was always afraid to be.. I am ME.

No shame of being what I am . Not shame of doing what I decide. I deserve this I am gonna take it.. and I am not gonna feel quilty about it... That's it you know... I am gonna love be love... I am gonna yell and be yell at... My true friends are with me.. and I carry them everywhere I go.

Dunno what's crackin with the boy stuff... I know is hella intense, I know is heckaaaaaa annoying cuz my heart is going bum bum even harder by the second.. I am in love.. L O V E. I am truly figuring out that two is really better than one. I wanna marry this dude.. so bad is insane.. I wanna have his children I wanna cooke for him and wait for him ALWAYS. I am waiting, but I ain't sittin.

And to you my so called friend, let me tell you something frontal and clear... you choose what you chose in your own terms, it is you who is blind and don't wanna see more than two steps ahead of you... its gonna damage your heart... cuz is already damaged your mind... You hurt me beyond words... because for you I prayed everyday.. I still do. My friendship is forever but like repetedly posted you have chosen I hoper that your decision won't eat you up. SO long... so goodbye.. My heart is clear my mind is free.

I wanna breath and I wanna feel, I wanna learn so bad.. I wanna smile and look at the sky and feel in my skin the possibility is not far from me.. I look at everybody else and for them seems impossible.. My dad told me and I believe this dude cuz he knows best: You can do anything the impossible... it ain't nothing but a lil tough.

I will freakin catch the butterflies with my hands, I will climb a tree .. I am gonna learn to run.... I am going to be patient.. I am gonna learn to cook... I am gonna do all those things I thought I wouldn't be able to do... Do you know why? Because I know I can.. Because I know.. that I am the only one that can.

Humility goodbye..

Welcome to my life hard work and commitment....

Welcome to my life... USMLE.

When I was a little girl

When I was a little girl I used to play "doctor" with my mom curing Barbies and fixing bears writing prescriptions with Paracetamol and Coricilin because they always had the flu. I used to suture everything with my dad and I used to be a patient for him all the time, all my clothes had nylon and cromic catgut all over the place. Those were great times, but deep inside I never really knew I could be like them. They talked in a different language, they smiled and cried, they we are worried and always wanted to go back to the hospital. I was really jealous about it, because they were b-days or graduation days, father and mother's days.. alone. But even though I was a little girl I understood that there was something greater than me, greater than those specials days... Later on I will find out. Growing up I wasn't able to decide wherther or not I wanted to be a doctor or that was the only thing I was to used to. I kept on hating and kept saying that I will never be like them, I will never put my family in second place. And years went on I finished high school, I entered to USMP (which besides all I am grateful for). When I Was finishing third year I didn't want to continue my career, not because I didn't like it (I know now) it was because I was scared of the total opposite. The first time a patient said thank you to me... I knew, there could be nothing else in the world better for me... so I grew into this beautiful world. To all my friends who have finished the first step with me, this is my unsaid graduation message: Even though we got hurt, angry, dissapointed, tired, humillated, diminished during all these past years, specially at the internship... we are here because this is who we are, because this is what we want, because Medicine is what we need for us to be really us. Fifght with your mind and continue with your mind this path that is only yours. Greatness is in a thank you, a smile, a pain released, a tear even. Remember for a second all those faces you hace seen this past year, and br proud of yourselves because you made a difference at least for a while. It took me a lot to consider the real importance of being a doctor. People put their trust, their lives in our hands, and they believe that we can do the imposible to make them better. Be the kind of person that your patients deserve and nothing else. I am so proud of everyone that I have seen working, the doctors that now represent my university have something unique that everyone talked about last year. They give everything, they have sensibility, they put themselves in their patient's shoes. They have heart. We know it... They know it.. It's time for everyone to know it.

When I was a little girl.. I wanted to be a doctor.

Today, March 17-2011: I AM.

Dra. Julia Gabriela Vasquez Lopez

CMP: 058281

Nostalgia

Feeling like crying...Need my fluoxetine though....I havent had my right amount of dose lately.

Everything is almost over.... I don't know what scares me the most.. that it is almost over or my life is about to start.

Darn!

Escribiendo largo y tendido---

Hoy estoy feliz, y necesito serlo.

La brisa helada recorre mis piernas y llega a mi vientre vacio.

El frio es recuerdo de que yo estoy viva y necesito sentirme asi.

Musica de enamorados, no es mas mi inspiracion. Mi estupidez si.

Y aunque escribo ahora confundida y mas que eso aturdida, escribo largo y tendido al son de una Arjona que siempre esta ahi en momentos dificiles.

Y hoy estoy sola, como una niña es un asilo de ancianos. Pero sigo en pie y OK.

Es que OK significa para mi ahora, no al borde del llanto y no de la algarabia. OK significa capaz de levantarme en la mañana ir a trbajar regresar estudiar.. y al final del dia cuando rezo, sonreir.

Ok significa darte un beso y no sentirme culpable mas, significa darte mi corazon en parte y no sentir que traiciono al pasado al mismo tiempo.

Ok para mi ... es maravilloso. Y seguire estando OK hasta estar muy bien. Aferrada de aquello que me hace feliz, aferrada del amor de mi padre, la ternura de mi hermano, la comprension de mi madrastra, el ingenio de mi hermana, y la indiferencia de mi madre. Lo ultimo me hace feliz porque me hace recordar que mis problemas siempre han sido mios, ella ya tiene suficientes.

Evito recordar lo inolvidable, evito pensar lo que algun dia fue impensable. Mi corazon medio palpita en bloqueo de segundo grado cuando pienso en el que hubiera sido.

No quiero nada para mi ya, solo quiero llegar a estar muy bien. Solo quiero salir del OK....em verdad solo quiero salir ya!

Chosing me over a guy

Growing up is hard. The single concept of chosing me over someone else amazes me more and more.

It's not a sin being selfish, what's it's really really wrong is always being the underdog. Not anymore.

I've been sad, anxious, discouraged for so long now....That it's time to stop playing house of the ruins of my life.

Rewind and play gabs...the thing now... That being sad and all...I have discovered a beautiful thing.

The thrilled phrase of loving someone beyond their imperfections has come to life in my life.

Estoy tan enamorada como una persona de mi edad pueda estarlo. That sweet sorrow is tearing me up inside. Eso que estuve esperando tanto tiempo que me hiciera sentir viva, eso que me hace feliz lo estoy descubriendo contigo sin estar contigo.

Sueño contigo, sueño conmigo...sueño con nosotros. Y no es malo... y no tengo miedo ya. Me demostraste ser mi compañero siempre...Siempre sera poco tiempo veras.

Because I remember your eyes

I yarn for your smile and... finally I die for you touch.

I will get to you eventually. I was always lucky at love:) thanks God!.

Simplemente a Cynthia y Maria Rosa

I am not gonna say I am OK just yet.
I am en train de be OK!..:)
Hay sentimientos que los expreso de maneras internacionales.
A mis internacionales va esta pequeña frase:
Son ustedes dos las que me recogen lentamente y con cuidado cada vez que me caigo y son su abrazo y sonrisa lo que me permite seguir adelante.. Si no fuera por mi diske americana... y casi francesa... mi vida fuera un asquito.:) Las amo hoy asi de simple.

Gracias por armarme de nuevo! poco a poco ensemble toujours!...ALWAYS TOGETHER!....siempre juntas!