When I was a little girl

When I was a little girl I used to play "doctor" with my mom curing Barbies and fixing bears writing prescriptions with Paracetamol and Coricilin because they always had the flu. I used to suture everything with my dad and I used to be a patient for him all the time, all my clothes had nylon and cromic catgut all over the place. Those were great times, but deep inside I never really knew I could be like them. They talked in a different language, they smiled and cried, they we are worried and always wanted to go back to the hospital. I was really jealous about it, because they were b-days or graduation days, father and mother's days.. alone. But even though I was a little girl I understood that there was something greater than me, greater than those specials days... Later on I will find out. Growing up I wasn't able to decide wherther or not I wanted to be a doctor or that was the only thing I was to used to. I kept on hating and kept saying that I will never be like them, I will never put my family in second place. And years went on I finished high school, I entered to USMP (which besides all I am grateful for). When I Was finishing third year I didn't want to continue my career, not because I didn't like it (I know now) it was because I was scared of the total opposite. The first time a patient said thank you to me... I knew, there could be nothing else in the world better for me... so I grew into this beautiful world. To all my friends who have finished the first step with me, this is my unsaid graduation message: Even though we got hurt, angry, dissapointed, tired, humillated, diminished during all these past years, specially at the internship... we are here because this is who we are, because this is what we want, because Medicine is what we need for us to be really us. Fifght with your mind and continue with your mind this path that is only yours. Greatness is in a thank you, a smile, a pain released, a tear even. Remember for a second all those faces you hace seen this past year, and br proud of yourselves because you made a difference at least for a while. It took me a lot to consider the real importance of being a doctor. People put their trust, their lives in our hands, and they believe that we can do the imposible to make them better. Be the kind of person that your patients deserve and nothing else. I am so proud of everyone that I have seen working, the doctors that now represent my university have something unique that everyone talked about last year. They give everything, they have sensibility, they put themselves in their patient's shoes. They have heart. We know it... They know it.. It's time for everyone to know it.

When I was a little girl.. I wanted to be a doctor.

Today, March 17-2011: I AM.

Dra. Julia Gabriela Vasquez Lopez

CMP: 058281

Nostalgia

Feeling like crying...Need my fluoxetine though....I havent had my right amount of dose lately.

Everything is almost over.... I don't know what scares me the most.. that it is almost over or my life is about to start.

Darn!

Escribiendo largo y tendido---

Hoy estoy feliz, y necesito serlo.

La brisa helada recorre mis piernas y llega a mi vientre vacio.

El frio es recuerdo de que yo estoy viva y necesito sentirme asi.

Musica de enamorados, no es mas mi inspiracion. Mi estupidez si.

Y aunque escribo ahora confundida y mas que eso aturdida, escribo largo y tendido al son de una Arjona que siempre esta ahi en momentos dificiles.

Y hoy estoy sola, como una niña es un asilo de ancianos. Pero sigo en pie y OK.

Es que OK significa para mi ahora, no al borde del llanto y no de la algarabia. OK significa capaz de levantarme en la mañana ir a trbajar regresar estudiar.. y al final del dia cuando rezo, sonreir.

Ok significa darte un beso y no sentirme culpable mas, significa darte mi corazon en parte y no sentir que traiciono al pasado al mismo tiempo.

Ok para mi ... es maravilloso. Y seguire estando OK hasta estar muy bien. Aferrada de aquello que me hace feliz, aferrada del amor de mi padre, la ternura de mi hermano, la comprension de mi madrastra, el ingenio de mi hermana, y la indiferencia de mi madre. Lo ultimo me hace feliz porque me hace recordar que mis problemas siempre han sido mios, ella ya tiene suficientes.

Evito recordar lo inolvidable, evito pensar lo que algun dia fue impensable. Mi corazon medio palpita en bloqueo de segundo grado cuando pienso en el que hubiera sido.

No quiero nada para mi ya, solo quiero llegar a estar muy bien. Solo quiero salir del OK....em verdad solo quiero salir ya!

Chosing me over a guy

Growing up is hard. The single concept of chosing me over someone else amazes me more and more.

It's not a sin being selfish, what's it's really really wrong is always being the underdog. Not anymore.

I've been sad, anxious, discouraged for so long now....That it's time to stop playing house of the ruins of my life.

Rewind and play gabs...the thing now... That being sad and all...I have discovered a beautiful thing.

The thrilled phrase of loving someone beyond their imperfections has come to life in my life.

Estoy tan enamorada como una persona de mi edad pueda estarlo. That sweet sorrow is tearing me up inside. Eso que estuve esperando tanto tiempo que me hiciera sentir viva, eso que me hace feliz lo estoy descubriendo contigo sin estar contigo.

Sueño contigo, sueño conmigo...sueño con nosotros. Y no es malo... y no tengo miedo ya. Me demostraste ser mi compañero siempre...Siempre sera poco tiempo veras.

Because I remember your eyes

I yarn for your smile and... finally I die for you touch.

I will get to you eventually. I was always lucky at love:) thanks God!.

Simplemente a Cynthia y Maria Rosa

I am not gonna say I am OK just yet.
I am en train de be OK!..:)
Hay sentimientos que los expreso de maneras internacionales.
A mis internacionales va esta pequeña frase:
Son ustedes dos las que me recogen lentamente y con cuidado cada vez que me caigo y son su abrazo y sonrisa lo que me permite seguir adelante.. Si no fuera por mi diske americana... y casi francesa... mi vida fuera un asquito.:) Las amo hoy asi de simple.

Gracias por armarme de nuevo! poco a poco ensemble toujours!...ALWAYS TOGETHER!....siempre juntas!

Yo soy FE

Observo temeraria el destino que deviene,
respiro al son del rayo que me ilumina el rostro al despertar.
Yo soy Fe y no me engaño mas.

No es que no tenga amor, ya no tengo corazón
Te lo llevaste tu y nunca me lo devolveras
Soy FE y no te engaño mas.

Respiro, sonrio y mientras bronceo mi alma
pienso que todo estará bien, con Fe extrañamente me amarás y te amaré INCOGNITOS los dos.
Nos nos engañemos mas.

Mi sonrisa, tu aliento, mis besos, tus manos
Son la receta perfecta para enamorarnos perdidamente, el punto es que mi pequeño caballero yo no quiero perderme mas.

Cuando me encuentre, cuando la FE se vuelva en FElicidad...ire a tu encuentro.
Espero con miedo que aún me ames, que aun te ame.
Espero con FE que mas grandes tu y yo nos perderemos encontrados en el amor.
Rayo de sol y melodias mientras tanto.

Escribo sobre lo que se

Una glance a través de la ventana.
El primer "frio" de la mañana
La primera sonrisa del dia
El primer recuerdo de felicidad
El último adiós o hasta luego

Escribo sobre lo que se porque me llena
Porque al timar versos soy feliz

Escribo y narro porque me nace
Compartir la energia que desbordo
Y desbordar la energia que comparto

Un hombre dijo alguna vez: No man is an island.
Yo digo que amo las personas archipielagos.

No escribo para mi ni para el mundo. Solo escribo
No son nimiedades son excentricidades.

Pero son mi creación, mi divina aventura.
Mi EXIT y mi encierro. Soy viento y agua.

Y todo por mi fluye y todo de mi nace.
Soy caudal y causa por propia eleccion.